The Pageant , St. Louis, MO
Report
We all met up in line, where we were accosted by the first psycho of the evening (psycho accostation is traditional of concerts) but he was quite a pleasant one, and only wanted to sell us some flowers he’d put together for benefit purposes for his homeless shelter, and as we had no money he persuaded some guys further down the line to buy some for us, and he delivered them with a small rap song on bended knee. So we had flowers, which of course we logically decided we were going to give to Jones. We also realised this would be a good sneaky way of getting the DRAWING to him.
We got in quick, being forwarder in line, and down front were RIGHT in front of stage, behind only one guy, and just below a small speaker thing. Erika and I spent our time figuring out the drawing problem, which drew us into a conversation with Book Reading Guy, who wanted to see the drawing. He thought it was QUITE GOOD, and insisted on passing it on down the line to his Art Gallery Owning Friend, who also thought it was quite good but hilariously believed Becky had ‘shortchanged Robert in the equipment department.’ The drawing made the rounds of the front row, garnering applause and approval for Becky, who went beet-red and sank into the floor with the notoriety of having rendered Led Zeppelin: A Lot To Cover. The drawing came back and we fixed it up with the flowers.
It’s showtime… and this freaky creepy ominous hummmmmm starts reverberating and ommming from the all over, and the lights go down, and they come back up and it’s, scuse me, F***ING JOHN PAUL JONES!!! Like Jimmy (Page/Crowes) and Robert (Strange Sensation) before him, he looks EXACTLY like himself, and who can describe? And he has his BASS! and he has his band, which consists of Nick Beggs and Orgasmic Drummer (who just looked like he was having this eternal percussive orgasm, yunno) and they opened with ZOOMA, and Erika and I fainted into Becky Michael’s arms, and had to be lifted back up, cause it was SO JONES, you see!! And in our hubris we totally imagine he can see us, and he’s laughing at us, and if that’s our imagination, well it feels just right to us.
So then they go on, they played different instrumentals, I had a hard time keeping track because I don’t own a real copy of ZOOMA, I just hear it all flow into itself, but then he played and sang That’s The Way and he has QUITE THE VOICE actually, not Plant Power by any means but not unpleasant either’he’s a folk singer. I’m in love!’ and he played and sang Freedom Song from ThunderThief on his tiny mandolin-ukelele thing. And he then played Ho-Diddley or whatever it’s called, also to be known as the Sequel To Hot Dog, and this grindingly sexual version of When The Levee Breaks, which I always find emotionally impressive with Jimmy and Robert, but I have never found to be grindingly sexual. Jones is an amazing man. He played Steel Guitar on Black Dog and blew me-Robert and Rika-Jimmy’s minds cause why the hell did Jones need us in the first place when he can make the noises we made on his own?? It was wild, man, wild. Anyway. He went away to our sorrow,and came back to encore, to our joy, and at the end of the encore I SHOVED Erika onstage and she waved the flowers at Jones and he didn’t see them. So Nick Beggs sees them and elbows Jones, and Jones waves his hands grandly, no, no flowers, no, no autographs, I’m just a humble musician, and Beggs won’t have it, TAKE THE DAMN FLOWERS, and Jones does, and they go offstage, not to return, and Becky Jones (our Jones) comes flying across the front row to beat us over the head, ‘how DARE you give NUDITY to JOHN PAUL JONES?’ but she calmed down and we all stood around betting if he’d notice it, not notice it, throw it away, keep it, give it to Beggs , whatever.
I have now seen all three Leds. May they tour again soon, or at least remain in good health.
Ann
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